I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
