I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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