So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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