TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
