some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
