wanna go halves on a baby?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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