So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
