I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
