Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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