We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
