saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
