He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
FUCK WHALES
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
