You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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