Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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