your thong is hanging out like whoa
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
