I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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