I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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