Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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