last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
