I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
