Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
