I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
