dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
