There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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