I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
