I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
