2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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