She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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