Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The uberlube is also flammable
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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