we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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