being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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