I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
