She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
