she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
