I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
