Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
