Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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