Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
