I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
