I'm pants shitting drunk right now
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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