Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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