Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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