Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
sarcasm needs its own font
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Boobs speak an international language.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
