i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
