Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
two words: eviction party
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
