Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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