ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
