Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
