Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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