Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
