i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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