pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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